till kingdom come

i have not been a bad man, tho i am not a good man. yet i hold myself to be a man among men, a man as men are, no better nor no worse.

time flies since i'd learned to fend for myself. fending for myself, i'd learned a plethora of new things. things which i can change, things which i cannot. things that will change themselves.

some changes are cataclysmic; momentous and violent event marked by overwhelming upheaval and demolition. some are slower, but surely; inexorable.

again, i am going to say that i have lost my opinions. but one said that not having opinions is an opinion in itself. very well then, that will be my opinion till kingdom come.

Jai guru deva om

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me? - "help!" the beatles

some songs are just meant to be forever in your head. the tunes... the lyrics... though you last heard them ages ago, you won't have problems recalling... i'm suddenly listening to beatles again...

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

hmm, this is my current favorite

Hey Jude, don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better - "hey jude"

and this too... oh, so many...

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they
Tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world. - "across the universe"

birds migrate, butterflies flutter

do prisoners knew all along, they will end up in prison?
will they repent, or be a repeat offender?
or will they long, the free food and shelter?
cos the world is harsh; the reason.

birds migrate, butterflies flutter
nature have a way, taking it's course.
try as you might, we cannot hinder
for what will happen, will not change course.

stay with me, my butterfly
do not be gone, as and when you like.
lo and behold, i will terrify
fear my wrath, and know my might.

death sentence

grandma's in hospital. happily smiling and laughing.

doctor said she got about six months left; leukemia

the only thing she know is that she has low blood pressure.

family decided to just let it be. the other options are steroids and chemotheraphy, which will only prolong the suffering.

i'm afraid that the extra-tearied hugs and kisses will make her realise something is not right.

how would you feel; death sentence?

a rush of blood to the head

had a skull x-ray. pain from fall, a week ago, have not subsided. if it don't get better by next week, the brain specialist will have to execute a brain scan.

the doctor gave me an interesting explanation about the brain. he even drew the skull and the brain, to explain to me graphically. but sorry doc, i wish the pain wasn't there, for nothin much register in my warped brains.

for those who are wandering, that explains my lack of words in my previous posts, my short, or curt, sms replies.

one of the symptoms for post-concussion; confusion and irritability


kappow!!!... yowza!!

liberating, not fettering

i may not know what i want,
but i do know what i don't want.
i want love but not to be consumed by it.
love is liberating, not fettering.
or eating u from the inside.
love yourself before u love others.

'emancipate yourself from mental slavery,
none but ourselves can free our minds.' - bob marley

rule of three

rule of three

mein kampf (my battle)

guten tag

we can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in out life to come.

einmal ist keinmal. once is not once

what happens but once, might as well not have happened at all. if we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all.

the reason we cannot determine which of our decisions are good and which bad is that in a given situation we can make only one decision; we are not granted a second, third or fourth life in which to compare various decisions...

"immer weider." always again, always the same

LIGHT AND DARKNESS

Seeing is limited by two borders: strong light, which blinds, and total darkness.

i have lost my opinions to indifference. and i no longer have strong opinions for anything. keep your words soft and tender, for you might have to eat them one day.

perplex II (addenda)

true wat milan kundera said, metaphors are dangerous. my spontaneous metaphorical post(refer to perplex I), have resulted in some, questioning my faith about god, and my perspectives of life.

my analogy, using Adam and Eve.

explained;

Before Eve was created, Adam was not even considering the apple. man knows wat is right/wrong for him. Eve, cajoled by Devil and his sophistry, was curious. thus, she managed to coax Adam to share it with her.

i did not intend to point fingers. but we, descendents of Adam and Eve, will somehow repeat the mistakes again and again. call it human nature, if you want.

woman; curious, impetuous, needs assurance(why can't she eat it alone?)

man; no matter how strong he is, physique or stature, woman is his weakness.

conclusion; homo-sapiens, till now, are repeating these mistakes. i do not take sides. i did not mention whether adam or eve is wrong. and i am NOT angry wit god. how blasphemous!?

philosophy seeks to understand, not to answer

choose life

feels good after a run... all the good sweat... like after doing a test-drive on your vehicle...

hoooh hah! hoooh hah!

whenever u feel like giving up, u tell urself to push.
don't look down or u'll get dizzy.
don't stop and reflect about why u are running.
look at targets, a tree for example, break ur destinations into smaller possible intervals.
plan how many kilometers u wanna cover before the run.
be fair to yourself, consider your health, your rest, your ability.
reward yourself upon completion

hoooh hah! hoooh hah!