just like that

"whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies" - gore vidal

if u are shaking your head, after reading this quote, fuck yourself! well i guess it's true, inevitably, ur close friends wanna see you go down (and vice versa). i think its human nature. if i wanna take it from a friend, he taught me (from his favourite philosopher)...

"the man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies, but also to hate his friends" - friedrich nietzsche

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just like that, i thought i should get something during this "great" sale.

just like that, i went home with 3 shopping bags. could have been 5 but zara was closed for stock take, and world of sports was a bit to far, to be able to make it on time. (it was quite late that i suddenly had this "just like that" moment. and its triumphant still to be able to make it 3)

hiak hiak hiak

if somebody said life will be easy after u graduate, somebody lied.

always the same case. got time no money, got money no time.

but at least now i got love.

sickly

most of this week was spent on bed. diagnosed with food poisoning. i donno wat i ate. body kept rejecting anything foreign. either defecating them out or puking. no shit! haven't had solid food for days, and cigarettes either. temperature yesterday was 38.3, not as high as faizal's tho. oi saggi mate, blame it on the stars yah, that we are sick?

today felt much better. just finished typing letters for friends and family. feel much like a clerk.

singalong

i went somewhere i could never imagined myself going in the past; karaoke

so once again, the most basic principle of my life, not to have preconceived judgements, is applicable again. had a great time, letting hair down wit the people who went thru the same difficulties as me. considering i was sick and bed-ridden the day before, i had hell-of-a-time.

digress; i find that in the past, i had many criterias. e.g, i won't like these kind of people... people who go to these places are... people who dresses like these are... etc. now i really think this is a bad mentality. it defines. definitions are restrictions.

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are."
- Anais Nin


btw, thanks fel, for your dvds. i couldn't do anything when i was sick but to watch them dvds. even reading was too much.

it's written in the wind, it's everywhere i go

"what's there to write about happiness?"

are you for real, or am i dreaming?
you are not you, the one i loathe.
so difficult then, now compromising
how can i hate you, if this is your love?

i don't believe people will change
but u want to prove otherwise
here is your chance so use it wise
i'm loving you, kiss me again




latest seiko ambassador

brotherhood

i miss my big brother. yesterday he came over, we talked about argentina, brazil... then about portuguese and spanish. suddenly i reminisce of our late night talks, in our then shared bedroom. it's hard to find a talking partner like him. we'll just talk and talk, and then you think again, then you see things from a different angle, new perspectives. the greatest thing is that we will just talk, without opinions, without being imposing, without trying to outwit, without judgements, without trying to refute each other.

but i'm happy for him now. he's wife and son needs him more(than me). such blessings!

oh, and these are new books in my list after my exams.


long way down


the zahir

languorous

"what's your problem, how can i help?"

"no one can help me, it's of the soul..."

omigod!! i am freaking restless and yet, listless. languidity has found its way into my system, and it's intravenous... circulating throughout my body. my heart is pumping languidity, languidly into my arms, my brains, my legs...

oh wat do i need to have vigour? to do things with virility and vivacity?

oh i am begging, no, imploring...

rite! i need coffee. who says coffee and energy are mutually exclusive?

i wish..

"With exams completed, now i have all the time in the world to do whatever lah. No more "today i have to study.." or "what time goin airport?" or "which topic to cover?". And no need to be guilty conscience anymore.. Not to mention the snacking around. All that is over. Yesh!! So i can concentrate on eating less and lead a more healthy lifestyle.. Yeah rite!! We see how THAT will goes... Oh well."

i wish these are my words. but it's NOT! it's from a friend's blog. i still got one more paper. i am so bloody worn-out.



eh eh, cantiknyer songkok