making yourself approachable

Making yourself approachable really comes down to two important elements: body language and facial expression. People are going to decide whether they want to approach you before they’ve heard you say a word. So here’s how you can say a lot without saying a thing.

Body language: Body language speaks volumes. Next time you’re at a social gathering take a second to think what you’re body language is saying to others. Are you standing against a wall? If so, you’re saying: “Please don’t notice me, I wish I weren’t here.” Are your arms folded against your chest? If so, you’re saying: ”Stay away from me, I’m not going to tell you a thing about myself and don’t want anyone new entering my life.”

The way you stand at a social gathering sends a message to other guests. If you want to send a warm, welcoming message your body language should reflect that desire -- this means standing with others, not off on your own. You don’t have to be the center of attention, but if you’re part of the action people are likelier to involve you in their conversation. Stand openly. Even if you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to appear that way. A relaxed, open stance invites other people to enter your space.

Facial expressions: Your face is the gateway to how you feel. This is why a strong poker face can mean the difference in winning the pot or losing it all. You don’t necessarily need to bluff in a social setting to win people’s interest, but keep in mind that your face is the first thing people are going to see, so what do you want it to say? A friendly smile, an understanding nod, a hearty laugh and making eye contact are integral. They tell others that you are a good audience and someone who is enjoyable to talk to. If you notice yourself rolling your eyes and furrowing your brow in social situations, think about what you’re saying to others and why you may struggle achieving social success.

By Aaron Blair